Three A’s for Now

Three A’s for Now

Awareness, Acknowledge, Action

When I was a nurse in a university medical intensive care unit, a large percentage of patients died, or at least it seemed. My memories of those times, our patients, and the team of brilliantly skillful nurses are colorful and vivid to this day. I remember the young man dying of AIDS during the advent of the disease. I remember his full name, his face, the feeling of gowning up and going into his room. I remember the nurse who chose to be his primary caretaker in the unit. I remember a patient who we kept sedated and medically paralyzed in order for him to recover from tetanus. He walked into our unit months later recovered; a tall smiling man who I instantly recognized, never before seeing him conscious or upright. He was so grateful to all of us. I remember many more moments. I remember my comrades, those super smart, adept RNs who were dogged, tenacious, and present in their moment to moment hands on care. I remember Donna who shared her crackers with me when we were not able to leave the patient’s bedside. I remember the sounds of the ventilators, all the equipment. I remember the magical spirit and effect of teamwork. So last night I cried when reading an article about a nurse in the Bronx, caring for ICU patients during this pandemic. I cried out of empathy, and grief our world is experiencing. This morning I danced to George Harrison’s iconic album All Things Must Pass.

My Three A’s for Now are related to my experience, that I am labeling as empathy; empathy as related to compassion; compassion for self, others’ suffering. Empathy helps us connect with our humanity, our fellow human beings in this predictably unpredictable human life. Empathy is an emotional state to become AWARE of, so that we can ACKNOWLEDGE what we are feeling, and as yoga philosophy says, take right ACTION.

Who are you called to be right now, in this moment? How will you acknowledge and gain awareness of what you are experiencing, whether it be sadness, confusion, joy, anger, comfort, laughter, tears, love? We can only change or shift what we are aware of. Mindfulness, paying attention to your thoughts, emotions, body is acknowledgement…because we are already feeling all those things. Why not note them and take action? Action could be taking a breath. Keep it simple. Look deep into what and who really matters to you, what your strengths are, what you know is good and true about yourself. We are a human circle. We all need each other. We are resilient.

 

 

 

Awareness in the Saddle: A Fall Ride

me and Duke
me and Duke

In September, I rode an amazing horse named Duke. It was a birthday gift from my husband. A wonderful one. I was surprised at how the ride began for me. When I sat in the saddle, I felt fear. This was new…all my younger life I rode horses and ponies. Never afraid. So I was perplexed by this new emotion in the saddle.

We rode for 3 hours on rocky, muddy, pine-strewn wooded trails in Nelson County, Virginia. I realized early on that my breath was going to be my friend, and so was this horse. After I settled in, kept noticing my physical sensations, breathing, while keeping heels down and hands relaxed, I realized this was a trust experience. Trusting both myself and Duke. Later, when slipping down a muddy embankment, I asked our guide Kenton what the best way to approach this. Kenton said, “Trust your horse, let him go, he knows what to do”. Sure enough, Duke did. His feet were steady, breath deep and constant.

I took away visceral memories from this day…the smell of horses so familiar to me, what I learned from watching their breath, how I brought my mindfulness, yoga, and body awareness into a joyful, challenging experience. The thoughtful gift from Jim.

That’s what coaching does. Helps you trust who you are, what you value, what health–your whole health— means to you. Coaching is like having someone else in a tandem kayak, or riding along beside you as you gather the reins and move toward mindful awareness of goals.

Growing Wings

Altitude Attitude
Altitude Attitude

 

How do your thoughts limit your life? What if you acted “as if” you really could accomplish a dream?

In A Year Of Living Your Yoga, author and teacher Judith Hanson Lasater suggests we take time to listen to ourselves in order to move closer to what matters most to us. She provides the self-reflection prompt “What would I do if I believed I could?”

Practice and Plan

  1. One way to move closer to making dreams actionable is committment to time, even 5 minutes, and practice a form of meditation that you like. Then, write down the answer to Lasater’s question. Record your thoughts in a voice memo if this feels more like your style.
  2. Next, write down or speak one small, measurable step that you can accomplish today that will bring you closer to what you want. This could be as simple as sharing your dream with someone who you know will be supportive. Or, it may be putting your words somewhere you can see them everyday. Be creative, make this yours.

We all experience limiting thoughts and beliefs. We can choose to pay attention to them and move closer to who we really are, which is, according to yogic philosophy, the true goal of yoga.

Move the Body, Change the Mind

desert dusk
desert dusk

How many times do we enter a situation and realize we are holding onto an attitude that limits us in some way? These kind of judgements stir about when we’re looking to change a behavior that seems immovable, or are feeling stretched beyond what we feel capable of. One useful way to shift away from this line of thinking is to access body wisdom which can change perspectives and build new habits. I’ve been surprised several times recently in yoga class when a simple adjustment to a familiar pose brought a welcome change. In that moment, my body settled into the pose, experienced it more comfortably, as if I were in an entirely new stance. My negative judgement about the pose was transfomed. A simple example, perhaps, yet it is moments such as these that form our daily lives.

Science now tells us what noted physician William James posited a century ago–that body postures can inform—and yes, transform how we feel. Have you seen the video yet of Amy Cuddy, Harvard business professor? Her research suggests that when we assume power poses to experience situations differently we can achieve positive outcomes. Rather than fake it until you make it, it’s fake it until you become the change you want to be. Consider when you are lacking confidence; perhaps your shoulders are hunched, chest a bit collapsed. When you put your arms on hips and stand like a superhero, how does that feel?

When we want to summon change, we can choose surprisingly accessible tools that bring forth results. Tiny yet powerful adaptations provide doors to other ways of being. May you be open and curious!

Power Animals for Change

 

 

TRIO
TRIO

When you want to summon change, why not conceive an image that develops emotions of strength and able-bodiedness? The concept of power animals has been used throughout time to evoke characteristics that we either have an affinity for or would love to embody. I attended a drumming circle once (I do want to go back) during which, after drumming, we were guided in a meditation and invited to imagine our power animal. From what I understand about this subject, one may utilize a variety of power animal themes throughout life to notice what is most present in relationships, situations, and challenges. Animal imagery feels congruent for me, perhaps because I grew up in the country, surrounded by various four-legged varieties. I happen to really enjoy animals and their enormous capacity to just be who they are.

A modern, yet ancient visual metaphor is the avatar, an online representation of self. I was moved after watching this TED talk by gamer Jane McGonigal, during which she describes her use of  imagery and solid positive psychology techniques to help heal from a debilitating brain injury. In her engaging presentation, she weaves regrets from the dying into play of the living. Ms. McGonigal’s provocative, somewhat edgy subject makes me consider what behaviors bring us closer to purpose, joy, meaning, and health. So, listen and consider adopting her 3-point plan: “Adopt a Secret Identity, Recruit Allies, and Activate Power-ups”.

 

Being Alive

Limitless
Limitless

 

 

Consider this expressive writing prompt: What makes you soar?

Leadership In One’s Own Life

Labyrinth, Duke Integrative Medicine
Labyrinth, Duke Integrative Medicine

 

Without sounding too simplistic, I submit that each of us can embody leadership. Now, leadership gets bounced around quite a bit in the coaching world. I propose that we each manifest leadership of our own life. Doesn’t great stress occur when we feel as if life is leading us? Yes, at times life deals cards that feel insurmountable and incredibly painful.

Regardless of career or life position, leading one’s own life aligned with values and purpose takes courage, intention, patience, humor, and wisdom, with a slice of humble pie.

“May I ask you a highly personal question? It’s what life does all the time.”—Kurt Vonnegut

The Vitality of Green

Smooth Surface
Smooth Surface

 

Now that autumn’s around us a bit, and even the insects are singing a different song, why not turn to growth or renewal? The season of fall marks beginnings and ends, as all seasons do, really, yet in the U.S. we are moving into the academic year. With our youngest launching to university any day now, this theme is particularly on my mind. My theme is “full house”, not “empty nest”, because this is a transition, not a syndrome, I believe. As challenging as it seems, what if we considered these not-so-easy yet normal, and yes, even celebratory moments as something that’s not about us, but someone’s else’s accomplishments, dreams and aspirations?

So, here’s the image I have. Strong green plant, firmly rooted in what seems like an unlikely medium…sand. Vibrant, growing,  both green AND brown. Often transitions or even gaps we sense are confusing, and unclear. So, what is a meaningful step you can take this next month to owning your life, your health, and claiming some vitality for you and therefore those you serve and love?

Like the “green” movement, aren’t we each renewable and sustainable in our own way? What will you recycle this fall?

 

 

 

Composing Life

Jim’s Version

 

Two posts in one day! Elections provide motivation.

I discovered this article I squirreled away last month…

Tom Silvestri of the Richmond Times-Dispatch wrote a dynamite commentary after hearing composer Philip Glass discuss  lessons from the creative process. I get excited just reading the story again. What appeals to me most about the article’s content lies in the human component of genius.  That is, these themes:

  1. How one’s longing  moves ideas forward
  2. Moving toward fear
  3. Paying attention to a satisfying day
  4. Power of perspective
  5. Get started
  6. Who one plays with
  7. Mistakes
  8. Rewriting one’s narrative

All of these kernels make me want to stand up and shout, YES! Thank you, Mr. Silvestri, for taking notes, paying attention, and sharing this with your readers.

ME TO WE

ME TO WE

“You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are.” — Fred Rogers, from The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things To Remember.

This week I am inspired by the service of others, and the power of  love joining us together. I am inspired by participants, volunteers, staff, and families at the Victory Summit  last Saturday. I am inspired by the recent documentary on Fred Rogers. I am inspired by clients who show courage, openness, and willingness. I am inspired by play in all of these events and experiences.

In more words of Fred Rogers, “Play does seem to open up another part of the mind that is always there, but that, since childhood, may have become closed off and hard to reach. When we treat children’s play as seriously as it deserves, we are helping them feel the joy that’s to be found in the creative spirit. We’re helping ourselves stay in touch with that spirit, too. It’s the things we play with and the people who help us play that make a great difference in our lives.”

Who do you play with? How are play, love, and service connected in your life?