Writing

Awareness, from a visual seescape

woman in the scarf
surprise in a fan

After receiving acupuncture recently, I sat up on the table and took time to admire the vintage silk scarf my practitioner had lovingly placed on my knees and legs to keep me warm while I rested during treatment.

This curly-haired woman drawn within the fan image peered out from the scarf–hair not unlike mine, or my acupuncturist. After considering several messages of meaning, one of many that brought gratitude was the choice to notice the scarf on my legs! I’m endeavoring more to notice what’s present, as a part of an awareness practice, which brings centering, a brief pause, and whatever teachings become present. What fullness a simple observation of the visual field can bring. The noticing itself provides the meditation.

We often take for granted the beauty in such simplicity of our environments, and those around us. It’s easy to get caught up in thinking, particularly about the future and be swept away by agendas and plans. Every season of the year, of life brings newness, a fresh perspective. Even things and people we see every day can be noticed and appreciated…if we take a moment. Just a moment.

Stop and have some cake

Let's Have Some Cake
peace offering

 

Have you ever found yourself wanting ever so quickly to have a technique at your disposal in order to avoid a pending disagreement? Last summer, I read “The Art of Communicating” by Zen master Thich Nat Hanh.

In his deeply touching, yet light way, he suggests asking your loved one this, when you find yourself going down a weedy path…”Would you like a piece of cake?” Then, you actually offer the person a piece, or something else delicous. I suppose if you wanted to avoid sugar, you could offer fruit or a carrot stick!

Really, though, sometimes even thinking of another response is enough to help us shift into another gear.

“A smile is the shortest distance between two people”—Victor Borge.

 

What’s Important?

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Our Great Friend

Ask yourself this summer:

“What do I need”?

“What do I offer others?”

“What strengths of mine are for the greatest good?”

Let The Summer Begin

Rose of Estelle May Scarborough
Rt. 2 Rose

Summer Tool Kit

Here are some tried and true practices to help you move forward, pause, refresh, learn. Some things are kind of old-fashioned too, just like this very old rose of my grandmother’s, dug up at least twice and moved from a beloved mountain paddock to a new Central Virginia home.

  • Check In. What’s your internal weather report?  Notice and practice your breathing. Notice how your body feels during day, where you hold stress. Breathe into those areas. What are your heart and gut saying? We make healthier, more informed choices when we are aware of our thoughts, feelings, and body signals. Use this as a centering practice during calm. Your body will remember because you strengthen these neural pathways just like muscle.
  • Walk. Move the body. Get outside early in the morning. Listen to the sounds, observe the breath. Commit to giving yourself 5 minutes. Read about walking meditation.
  • Do a 180. Seek a compassionate view of yourself. Notice internal dialogue. What you say to yourself about what you can and cannot do, who you are or are not– matters. Challenge those beliefs. Focus on meaning, not the story. Learn a new, fun skill that has nothing directly to do with an area of challenge. Laugh. Dance in your room with your headphones on.
  • Write. Focus on areas of life you feel competent inIdentify your strengths, your gifts. Write them down. Be specific. Ask someone you trust and care about to name 3 strengths they see in you. Experiment with journaling in new enviroments, such as a coffee shop or outdoors. Find a journal buddy to write with, kind of like parallel play young children engage in—no need to share, just be beside someone.

 

 

Every Day an Empathy Opportunity

Awakening
Awakening

Each day presents us with avenues to practice relationships.

In this video, Dr. Helen Reiss of Harvard Medical School uses both the concept and acronym of empathy to bring attention to specific behaviors we can develop. She uses compelling stories and research to illustrate why this emotion is vitally important to our species. As humans, we are lovingly dependent on one another to provide social bonds. Our lives are constructed around relationships. Our companies, businesses, schools, and houses of worship are built on relationships. We certainly know what causes our greatest stress on the planet….relationships! On the other hand, when we choose to really meet another, we may receive them as if for the first time.

Here is a breakdown of how Dr. Reiss views the behavioral and intentional practices we can foster.

E is for eye contact
M is for the muscles of the face, which display our emotional state
P is for posture. What’s our body saying? Are we open or closed?
A is for affect, another word for the emotional “weather” we are showing
T is for our tone of voice
H is for hearing, really tuning into the person in front of you, without judgement
Y is for your response

My addition to “E” in empathy is the word energy. When you speak with someone in person, or even over the phone, or a video conferencing platform, what energy do you convey?

What’s important to you, about empathy, this summer?

Power Animals for Change

 

 

TRIO
TRIO

When you want to summon change, why not conceive an image that develops emotions of strength and able-bodiedness? The concept of power animals has been used throughout time to evoke characteristics that we either have an affinity for or would love to embody. I attended a drumming circle once (I do want to go back) during which, after drumming, we were guided in a meditation and invited to imagine our power animal. From what I understand about this subject, one may utilize a variety of power animal themes throughout life to notice what is most present in relationships, situations, and challenges. Animal imagery feels congruent for me, perhaps because I grew up in the country, surrounded by various four-legged varieties. I happen to really enjoy animals and their enormous capacity to just be who they are.

A modern, yet ancient visual metaphor is the avatar, an online representation of self. I was moved after watching this TED talk by gamer Jane McGonigal, during which she describes her use of  imagery and solid positive psychology techniques to help heal from a debilitating brain injury. In her engaging presentation, she weaves regrets from the dying into play of the living. Ms. McGonigal’s provocative, somewhat edgy subject makes me consider what behaviors bring us closer to purpose, joy, meaning, and health. So, listen and consider adopting her 3-point plan: “Adopt a Secret Identity, Recruit Allies, and Activate Power-ups”.

 

Friends and Health

Precious
Precious

Relationships are the fabric of our lives. Some would say a mirror of our lives. Today I’m inspired by my college friends. What do you see in the mirror? How would you like to be a better friend? What does this mean to you?

Who provides joy and support in your life? Who do you give joy and support to? How might you build this?

 

Some thoughts from others:

 

We take care of our health, we lay up money, we make our roof tight and our clothing sufficient, but who provides wisely that he shall not be wanting in the best property of all–friends.–Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is no physician like a true friend.–Anon

The support of one’s personality is friends. A part of one’s self and a real foundation and existence.–Katherine Butler Hathaway

My friends have made the story of my life. In a thousand ways they have turned my limitations into beautiful privleges, and enabled me to walk serene and happy in the shadow cast by my deprivation.–Helen Keller

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.–Jane Howard

Mornin’ Rituals

MORNING MIST copy

 

When one wakes up, rituals can establish a rhythm to the day. Some are early morning risers, others may rise much later, as I well remember when working night shifts in the hospital a good while back. (I must admit I had a challenging time figuring out what and when to eat.) The important consideration here is consciousness of what you bring into waking up. What are you waking up to?

I’m not suggesting there’s a right or wrong way to awaken, rather, to become aware of what is present. For example, do you watch the morning news, check your social media status, or do you allow yourself a minute of noticing your feet as they carry you to the bathroom? I remember when our children were wee ones that it seemed I bounded out of bed and was somehow carried miraculously to their crib, in spite of being incredibly sleep deprived. I realize that there are times in life when a minute of conscious breathing or noticing seems like an eternity.

What do you drink in the morning? A cup of water? Tea or coffee? Smoothie? How does that refresh you, bring you into the day? What mug or cup do you drink in?

What chair do you sit in? What do you see out your window? What do you read? Who do you greet upon awakening? How do you greet them?

You probably notice flux during the year in your morning routine. In the wintertime, I get up and sit in a favorite worn chair and watch the daylight come. I tend to write more in my journal then. In the summer, I keep my eyes open and may sit on the porch and watch the birds and insects, listening to the outdoor sounds.

What’s your spiritual or prayer life? How do you incorporate that into your day?

Some of you get up really early and walk, run, or practice yoga, perhaps with a buddy or at the gym. Does this change with the seasons? When is it important for you to connect with others, and when is it time to be more solitary? When do you yearn for quiet? Some may have jobs that provide conversation all day, so the morning is a time to drink in the quiet. It’s taken me many years to give my husband ample space in the morning. He needs time to wake up and I appreciate that now—finally!

If quiet is important to you as a morning ritual and doesn’t seem to be created at home, can you gravitate to quiet within, perhaps in your car before you get out to go to work, or on the subway, or on the bus?

Since life is by nature in constant flux and we are adaptive beings, I invite you to look for moments in your day that create rituals that mean something to you. One of the first great conversations I remember having with my coach was about rituals and the rejuvenation provided. So have fun with rituals. They don’t need to be so serious or complex, rather simply of benefit for you and in turn, perhaps for those you love or care about.

Here’s a robust post from Gilbert Ross on morning rituals.

Savoring

CLEAR SKIES, GOOD BREATH

 

During a yoga class recently, I drank in two ways our teacher encouraged us to use our breath. One was “allow your shoulders to rest on the breath”. Wow! I love that, mostly because a lot of us carry tension in our shoulders. During coaching sessions, I ask clients how they’d like to begin. If they’d like to begin with some form of relaxation exercise, such as imagery or mindfulness, or any simple breath awareness, I usually include an invitation to drop the shoulders away from the ears. That’s one of the first things I learned in yoga 16 years ago.

The second prompt our teacher, Kat gave us was to imagine our breath expanding our ribs and diaphragm out from the sides of our body. I liked that as well because it helps me visualize the breath and make it 3D.

When you see a body of water this season, stop and breathe. Water is a fundamental element of life; it’s a wonder in itself.

Here’s a video link to water lapping on the Cheasapeake SAVORING

Grazing

Sampling
Sampling

I’m finding myself in a bit of transition. In some ways, it feels like these cows grazing on delicious and familiar green grass, and in others it’s like moving to another pasture and chewing new flavored varities. For most of us, creating new programs or new work takes continually feeding oneself on core values—things that if they are not present in your life, you know they are missing. Two core values of mine are creativity and relationships. I’m reconnecting with some really important people in my life and sampling some new things, such as teaching myself how to play the guitar. I’m giving myself permission to enjoy the process, the learning, in small bites rather than saying “in two months I’ll know how to play a song with x number of chords and with this strumming pattern”. As a coach, that’s something that I work on at times…not setting goals, as crazy as that sounds! When it comes to transitions and generating creativity, I find it’s useful to simultaneously build the “doing” and “being”.

If you are in some sort of transtion, which can be subtle or quite obvious to self or others, consider these things.

1. Ask yourself when you get up in the morning, “Who do I want to connect with today?”

2. Ask yourself upon awakening, “What’s one thing that I would enjoy today?”

3. Where could I release a “should” or “must” today?

4. How could I move my body today?

4. What’s the most important piece of work that I want to accomplish today?

5. At the end of the day, how can I send myself and those I love, caring?

This is a ever-evolving list! Give yourself the opportunity to sample different questions. Keep the ones that feel like bedrocks. Create new ones. Notice.